Life is a Temporary Assignment? I am an Ambassador in a Foreign Land?

An Ambassador for what?  Heaven?

It is Friday, I think Day Six, although I don't even have the ENERGY, nor do I even really want to continue.  I am feeling totally defeated, sad, and quite honestly a bit depressed.  I feel worthless.  It is silly but I think all these emotions are rising up because:  I did get approved for the vehicle, however, due to my lack of credit, they want me to pay a high interest rate, and they want me to put down $1000.00.  This will put my payments way too high, and quite frankly I don't have any money right now to put down.  However, I did get an increase of exactly that amount on one of my credit cards this week and I could see it as a sign and take that cash and put it down.  I could even trick myself into thinking this is a sign to go ahead and do the deal.  After all I am supposed to believe there will always be enough...right? 

I am in an indecision mode, and it seems when I am in this mode, I feel this way.  So, I decided I needed to decide and I said NO to the deal.  But now...I feel even worse.  I have no peace, and I just want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head and forget about this crazy world.  Also, I did not work much this week, there were only a few hours, and now Monday is a holiday, and my pay check was much less than I expected.  I am feeling very low.  I suppose I should read my chapter in The Purpose Driven Life, maybe something in that will cheer me up.  I sure hope so.

Day Six - Life is a Temporary Assignment

After reading the chapter, I am feeling a little better, at least the heaviness I am feeling has lifted. 

Point to Ponder:  This world is not my home.
Verse to Remember:  "So we fix  our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:18
Question to Consider:  How should the fact that life on earth is just a temporary assignment change the way I am living right now?

Well first of all, I am thinking that what is seen, is this new vehicle, that is definitely a temporary item of this world.  I need to take my focus off of that and have faith (faith is unseen and eternal).  I should keep my eyes focused upon what God has for me, perhaps He even has something better for me, a better deal, yes, I am sure God has a much better deal.  I am trusting.  This is a test, although I honestly don't know what the test is.  Perhaps a test in materialism, a test on trust.  I need to "let go, and let God".  This, is just a temporary assignment...I have so much to learn.

Funny, there is still part of me that is saying, go ahead and do it, get the vehicle, trust God for the money, use credit for the $1000.00 down, trust God for your income to increase so you can afford it.  But deep in my heart I know that is foolishness.  In the past, I may have tricked myself into this foolish thinking...or is it that I am now too cynical? 

Either way, I am taking my focus off of this, and putting faith and trust in the process and in God.  He knows what I need for this temporary assignment.  Ugh!  I don't feel at all qualified to be an Ambassador for God.  God help me please.