Chapter Fourteen/ When God is Distant

The Lord has hidden himself from his people,

but I trust him and place my hope in him.  Isaiah 8:17

Just a short while ago Simone was having a glorious Sunday afternoon nap, and was marvelling at how warm and cozy she felt, with the wind blowing wildly outside her window, a cool breeze wafting into the room and a rain pouring down, just a few feet away from her safe, warm haven.  She had been to church today, she had been on a long walk with her dog Sadie early that morning;  and she had just sat in a restaurant alone eating breakfast.  When she returned home, all she wanted to do was nap.  It felt as if all her energy had been sapped, and she felt exhausted.  There was absolutely nothing she wanted to do but sleep. 

Then, energized from her nap Simone put on her warm red fleece jacket, a hat, her walking runners, her ipod,  and headed out the door for another long walk with her little dogSadie.  She was sure this was good for both of them, and besides she had lots to think about after church, plus, she was still trying to conjure up a friendship with God, and thought he must be out there in the rain, because she certainly could not find him at church this morning. 

As Simone walked, she felt the rain on her skin, and could smell and feel the fresh cool air blowing all around her.  She was walking at a quick pace, so she was warm.  The sky was dark and gray, and she and Sadie were alone on the wet pathway.  As she walked along, a song popped into her head, and she began to sing it as she walked.  It seemed so fitting, for the moment, and Simone felt a tinge of happiness rise up in her and a smile formed upon her lips.  Suddenly she felt alive, more alive than she had felt in months, and yes, she was actually singing in the rain, and everything in her little world was ok, at least for the time being. 

Simone thought about last Friday, when she had met her friend Katherine for lunch, and how surprised she was when she saw her.  Kate  looked so good, so put together, so happy and content.  "You look wonderful!" she told her friend as she hugged her.  "What is going on with you?"  Kate was wearing a skirt, high boots, a stylish jacket and her hair was shiny and done, she was even wearing makeup, and she was smiling from ear to ear. She had also lost a lot of weight in the  month since they had seen one another.  

 "I broke through the wall!" she exclaimed "I am on the other side!"  "Well I want what you have", Simone smiled "Help me break through that wall!"  "I can't help you, you have to want it and get there yourself, no one can do it for you" Kate explained as she opened her Victoria Secret shopping bag, and showed Simone her purchase.  Then over lunch, Kate, told Simone, that she had been walking every morning, and thinking of food as fuel, and she had been doing little things to make herself happy.  She was also planning on taking some online courses and she was planning on changing careers.  Simone smiled "Well, It is sure working!, how is Wayner taking it?"  "He isn't liking it at all, I think he is a bit threatened by the change" she said sadly.  "But really, I am just being me, Simone, I have to be me, and you need to be you.  Stop being afraid to be yourself , start living authentically."

As Simone walked and sang, she thought about Katherine and the things she had told her, and how everything she had said resonated with her.  In fact, it was the reason she was out here on the path on this cold and rainy day, why she had her special little Sunday afternoon nap, and why, she wanted to hurry home to write and blog about it all.  "Maybe" she thought "God speaks through friends like Kate, just maybe, he really isn't as distant as she thinks? Maybe, he wants her to be happy?"