Chapter 13 / Worship that Pleases God?

Love the Lord your God with all your heart

and with all your soul and with all your mind

and with all your strength.

Mark 12:30 NIV

The long awaited phone call finally arrived.  It had been over a week, and Simone had called the Car Dealership several times, only to get the finance manager's voice mail.  In her heart, she already knew that the news was not going to be good, but she had been praying and seeking God, and preparing herself for this very moment.  She knew she was not going to get the vehicle, at least not at the interest rate she had budgeted for, and she was right, and for some reason, it was ok, everything was going to be ok, despite the fact she was not going to get what she wanted.  She told the finance manager she would get back to him on her decision.

After the call ended she whispered under her breath "what now God?"  She half expected an answer, but then began to remember her "God Car", and how God had once surprised her with a car that far surpassed her expectations, but then she thought, "that was long ago, when she walked closely with God, and believed in his goodness".  So much water had passed under the bridge since then, taking her further and further away from her faith, and her relationship and trust in a good and loving God. 

"How", she thought, "could she love him with all her heart when her heart had been broken and shattered into a million little pieces, when her soul was lost, and her mind depressed and she had absolutely no energy or motivation, or passion for anything? How? How God?"  she whispered. Simone was being honest, this was how she felt, this was what she believed, this was all she had, and something deep inside her kept saying  "Give your brokenness to me, I will show you the way, I will give you hope and passion for living, trust me."

Tears streamed down Simone's cheeks, and on the surface it may have seemed as though she was crying because she did not get the car, but in fact, the tears were something far deeper, her heart, soul, and mind was crying out to God, she wanted so desperately to trust him, to believe in him, to love him, like she once did.  "God," she spoke audibly now, "Help me believe, please? I want to love you, I want so desperately to love again, and trust again, and to have passion and strength in my life once more." 

In that moment, she felt as if someone, or something had put their arms around her, and comforted her, she wiped away her tears and continued on, after all, she had a full day worth of work to do.  She decided she was going to keep on putting one foot in front of the other, keep going, and she was going to love God, with all the strength she had, even if it was not much.  Simone felt nothing more than as sense of calm, but that was better than anything else she had been feeling in a very long time.

Point to Ponder

God wants all of me.

Question to Consider

Which is more pleasing to God right now--my public worship or my private worship?  What am I going to do about it? 

I  think that God can handle my honesty, and He can heal and change my heart.  I am going to try to love him with my broken and shattered heart, my lost soul, my depressed mind, and with the little bit of strength that I have right now.  That is all I have, that is all I can do.  I am going to try and be grateful for all things.