Day Two - A Paradigm Shift? I Am Not An Accident?

This morning I awoke at my usual time of 7 a.m., but instead of getting up, I shut off my alarm, and my cell phone, let the dog out, had a bathroom visit, then so unlike me, even I was surprised, I jumped back into bed and pulled the covers over my head and fell into a deep and restful sleep.  Now this is a work day, but for some reason, it just did not matter, and for the first time in years, my restless, uncontrollable mind was quiet.  It did not tell me I had to get up and get going, it did not tell me there was so much to do, it did not tell me I was lazy, it did not tell me anything!  It felt like peace...but then, I am not completely sure what peace feels like, because I have not had a lot of it in my life.

So, I slept, until I couldn't sleep anymore, and when I awoke, I did not feel even a tinge of guilt, and everything was extremely still.  I didn't ache, I did not desire anything, I was not worried about anything.  All, was well in my tumultuous world of thoughts?  How on earth did that happen?  It felt as though something had shifted.

Then, desire hit me, desire to write, and so here I am, writing to you about this unremarkable event, yet deep inside me, I know it is a turning point, a shift, a momentous moment in time, something has changed, but what it is, I have no idea.  It came from something outside of myself, yet deep within my being.  Weird, all I can say is weird. 

I decide to find a photo of a Shift, and so I google it, and this is what I find, it seems so perfect. Until this moment, I have honestly never heard of a "Paradigm Shift" and so I looked up the definition of it:

WHAT IS A PARADIGM SHIFT?

In 1962, Thomas Kuhn wrote The Structure of Scientific Revolution, and fathered, defined and popularized the concept of "paradigm shift" . Kuhn argues that scientific advancement is not evolutionary, but rather is a "series of peaceful interludes punctuated by intellectually violent revolutions", and in those revolutions "one conceptual world view is replaced by another".

Think of a Paradigm Shift as a change from one way of thinking to another. It's a revolution, a transformation, a sort of metamorphosis. It just does not happen, but rather it is driven by agents of change.

Interesting is all I can say...interesting and weird all at the same time.  Can it be true?  Has my thinking been transformed?  God, I hope so.

Day Two

"God doesn't play dice."
             - Albert Einstein

I am not an accident.  God had a plan in creating me.  Long before I was conceived by my parents, I was conceived in the mind of God.  God made me, so He could love me.  God is LOVE.  God says to me, and for the very first time in my life, I think I have the capacity to believe it...

"I have carried you since you were born; I have taken care of you from your birth.  Even when you are old, I will be the same.  Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you.  I made you and will take care of you."  Isaiah 46:3-4

With all my heart, I want to believe this, and in this moment I do.  I have no fear of the future, all my stress is gone, I have felt God's Love and His Presence this morning. 

I can finally accept myself, my life, my job, my circumstances, my financial insecurity, my family, my friends, my personality, my background, and even my physical appearance.  In this moment, I do believe, I believe it is all NO ACCIDENT, it is all exactly the way it is supposed to be. 

Oh God, I pray this shift will last...