The days have been passing so quickly, nothing in one day stands out from the rest.  Hopelessness and lonliness have settled over Simone like a familiar blanket.  The thought of another long winter in this 'god forsaken' land is fore front in her weary mind.   Even though recent days have been mild and warm, the air filled with fragrance,  the trees colorful, and the ground covered with a carpet of red and yellow, she can think of nothing else but escaping. 

Envy fills her heavy heart as she listens to the joyful honking, of the geese flying in unison above, headed south.  "I wish I were brave" she whispers to herself,  "I would leave this pointless life behind and fly away into the future.  Yes, that is what I would do." 

"If I were brave" she ponders the thought. and remembers how brave she had been in her past, and how she had taken her young son, a few of their belongings, and boarded a bus, heading toward California, to gather her children, like a hen gathers her chicks, but then, God was her friend  then and she was sure He was walking close beside her.  She could do anything , knowing the one who held her future was there by her side.  There was also unconditional love in her heart, strong passionate love leading the way, but passion and that kind of love is no where within her now.  She feels old and spent, empty and without motivation, and worst of all her heart is void. 

It has been days since Simone thought about her blog, or the Purpose Driven Life, and it was days ago, that she left herself, and walked on just an empty shell of a being, trying to make sense of it all, she had been tired of the pain of the past and the feeling of being cornered.  Today, she realized, she could not take another step toward nothingness. 

It was time to return to herself again, to God, and to allow herself to feel the pain of disappointment, of loss, and of feeling.   Simone suddenly realized the brick wall in front of her might be a test and it had to be penetrated for it was 'smack dab' in the way of everything the future had for her!  She would need all the help she could get, all the strength, courage and  passion she could find, and all the love she could muster up to break through it and get to the other side.  Something very deep, near the essence of her being, was not allowing her to give up, as much as she wanted to, for Simone was very tired. 

There had to be a way out, and in this moment, something in her was determined to find it, while everything else in and around her wanted to be content in this place and just lay down and surrender to the path of least resistance.  "Yes" she thought, "It would be easy to give up now, but that would mean a slow and sure death.  I must fight!"  She knew it was her only hope. 

Simone picked up the book once more, and assumed she must be on Chapter 15, which is "Formed for God's Family" she didn't read the chapter, but dressed quickly and darkened the door of the 11 a.m. church service.